Wednesday, November 25, 2015

I'm done with being done...

Thinking maybe i'll start writing again, thinking maybe I have a need to share.  Thinking maybe i'm the only one on earth who reads this blog ;-)

I consider this "2015", to be the worst year of my life.  In nearly every way, i'm worse off than the year before.  And...the worst of it all is, my lack of determination to turn it around.  I'm becoming everything I feared about getting older.  It pains me to even write about it, it's just whining as far as i'm concerned, but I have to set the table.

So, with multiple issues and a weakened resolve, I've determined I need to make a stand and turn this mess around.  It wont be easy with the "black dog" always around, but as I consider the alternative, the gradual slide into complacency, I know i'll just get sadder.

I may, for the first time in my life, create a plan and set goals to claw my way back.  I've always kept myself in reasonable shape and when a race or event came along I would just go do it.  I'm now humbled enough to know I must swallow my pride and realize I can't do this without writing it down. I'd really like to be fit for Europe next summer and I'd really like to get my core back to prevent this back pain.

Javelina Chase is a small road race out of Duncan Arizona on April 23rd, that might be a good and reasonable starting event.  I won't even consider something like HooDoo500 until getting prepared for this race is successful, I've burned myself too many times thinking It's not a problem.

So, that's my thinking.  I guess I'll post occasionally and make a journal thing out of it, I wish myself luck...

Wednesday, April 23, 2014


All signed up for 2014 LOTOJA.  Should be interesting, no friends this year, its like back in the day when my only friends were the ones I made during the race.

Without complaining too much, it will be difficult this year, no doubt about it.  Multiple physical deficits and reduced training time will really make a challenge out of it.  Ah well, my own private battles...

Friday, December 6, 2013

Hello? Tap this thing on?
I'd like to start by reintroducing myself, my name is Jim Auwen (or James if you're the government) and I'm still a cyclist.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


"Growing darkness taking dawn, I was me but now he's gone..."

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Just Thinking

Just thinking.

 I consider this blog as a type of journal, race reports, training thoughts and general musings. I've had people suggest I write articles on cycling and such. Flattered, but I'm not compelled to do that. There are probably thousands of blogs and websites with far more information than I could provide. I just want to convey to anyone who would have interest (or no one) a few of the experiences I go through. And maybe in reading some of my previous posts, I can learn something...

That reminds me, I've got a few race reports from last year to jot down. Maybe later though, I've got a sexy looking salad calling my name...

Friendship Ramble

Here's to new friends... I've lived long enough to know that people come into our lives for a reason. Good or bad we learn from them. I believe all these interactions build to ultimately allow us to settle in with a group of close friends that we can trust completely. And since friendships are one of the most cherished things in my life, I devote much to it.

 I'm not sure if by moving from place to place so much as a child contributed, but I find it difficult to trust many people. Or, maybe it's my introverted personality, but feel I need to experience people over a long period of time in order to get a handle on their true motives and character. I feel you can't know someone truly until you've seen them at their best AND worst. This takes time. It's takes time being with them through situations in which their true colors emerge.

I experienced the same thing with women I dated early in my life. I would typically date a girl for at least a year (or attempt to) before I would know their true character. I think this served me well as I dodged a few bullets along the way (quite a few bullets).

 I currently consider myself highly blessed to have a small group of very close friends whose friendships have withstood the test of time. I also feel blessed to know a large group of people (primarily cyclists) that I consider good friends. All in all I'm grateful to know all these people, they bring so much joy and color into my life.

My point to all this? The time frame for allowing someone to get close to me has become alot shorter as I get older. I think I've gotten very perceptive about reading people. It's gotten far more difficult to allow people into my life, when I feel so secure about the number and quality of friends I now have. If someone were to come along that I felt so strongly about having in my life after only a short period of time, that person would pretty much have to be considered a "kindred spirit".

Welcome, you know who you are...

BTW, I like to think of myself as a "fierce friend".  I'll always, always be there..

Monday, July 4, 2011

Life lately...

Can't seem to post to this blog from my ipad. Thought i'd get on my Mac just to keep this thing alive.

I've been riding the recumbent exclusively for the past 3 months (when I can) and i'm just starting to get the hang of it. Still a tough climber but fun on the downhills and flats. I get stares and fingers pointed at me frequently, are these bikes THAT rare?

I'm struggling with the decision I have to make of whether or not to do the HooDoo 500. I'm entered, but my training has been spotty with family and work responsibilities. Very, very difficult to decide.

On the one hand, I don't know anyone with so little training, who would be dumb enough to attempt this, it's an insanely tough race already and by doing the Voyager division... I should be committed.

On the other hand...

If I were to live by Teddy Roosevelt's quote, "Far better it is..." I should race regardless. Plus, (still on the other hand) it's not in me to back down from a challenge. It used to be, but that's another post...

Ok, back to the first hand. Have you ever ridden a recumbent? No? you're in for a treat. Sure, the weight is off your arms. Yes, you're body is more aerodynamic. Of course, it's fast in the flats and downhills. But climbing? I had an old woman in a wheelchair go around me up Kong. Regardless, there is 30,000 feet of climbing in HooDoo, it's no ride in the park.

I know...blah, blah, blah, so make up your mind. I will, this week or next. I guess it will just come to me as usual.

Other news, had a great time with the fam in southern California last week. Cool weather, beaches, Mormon Battalion visitor's center, and topped off with a crowded but fun Disneyland.

I miss my son Jared who is serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, in Portland Oregon. Just gotta get over the initial separation then emotions should normalize.

I'm getting older. I see and feel the changes and though not easy, I think i'm coping well. (probably ought to add that to the first hand ; )