I am a cyclist

For the past 5 weeks I have been undergoing physical therapy treatments on my neck. Cycling and just about any physical activity has been highly limited. I feel like E-Mac must've felt with his neck but hopefully I can work it out and not have a surgeon fillet me up like Eric did. The stiffness is nearly gone thanks to PT. After my little "see how it feels" ride of about 25 miles, my neck locks up, it's momentary when it happens but scary regardless. Not sure what to make of it, kind of a localized spontaneous radiculopathy. Hopefully the MRI i'm having this week will shed a little light. If not, i'll have to assume arthritis unless my doc gives me some kind of alternate diagnosis.

I've always considered myself an endurance cyclist but that may change depending on my progression or lack there-of. Sobering thoughts are swimming around inside my head; "maybe I can ride with some kind of neck brace, maybe it's something that be fixed, maybe I can take up rowing, maybe I should sell my beloved bikes and never ride again..." Regardless, i'll give it a bit more time and ride occasionally to experience the after effects and my fate.

I hesitate writing these thoughts, I guess if the the only people who read this blog are close friends, then maybe they'll learn why they don't see me out on my bike anymore.

Tour de Safford is over for me, funny thing is, out of excitement, I was probably the first person to sign-up, and now I can't even do the 33 miler, let alone the 102. Same disappointment not being able to do the 234 Cochise, new course and bike, good fitness, just the little problem of my neck not being able to tolerate riding it.

I know life isn't automatic, you just don't expect to possibly lose one of the most passionate parts of your life due to a negligent driver who was probably texting.

I think Carla was trying to console me by telling me: "Cycling isn't who you are, it's just something you do. It doesn't define you" or something to that effect. At first I agreed, it made sense but a few days later I didn't feel that way at all. Cycling does define me, it has taught me and has changed me into the man I am today. I was undefined before I took up the sport 20 years ago. I didn't know who I was. I never thought I could ride 8 miles back then but when I did, I realized it was within me to be able to ride that far. And so that's how i've progessed and allowed cycling to define me. At one time I didn't think I could ride 100 miles, but did it. 252? impossible but did it practically solo. 520 miler? yes, I discovered that it's within me. I have been tempered and refined, so yes, I can do it, it's who I am and what i'm known for. I have the ability to suffer, and I learned alot about suffering from cycling. So no Carla, I respectfully disagree, cycling is not just something I do, it IS who I am.

Whatever, i'm whining too much...