The Crash

Okay, gotta get something going in here. I guess the biggest event in my life lately was the crash at the Tour of Utah road bike race. About six Brumby riders from Mesa went down after crashing into the back of an SUV coming down off the Alpine Loop. I had been riding with Lorie Tucker, Rob and Bridget Verhaaren, and Sterling Baer and when we came upon the crash and I think we all were a bit traumatized.
I don't want to get into specifics, that's been done, and the few who might read this are already aware. I just wanted to mention about the effects of something like that. I have seen plenty of blood and trauma from working in a hospital setting for the last twenty years so I'm used to it. What i'm not used to is seeing my good friend Dave Collins backboarded, bloodied and near death at the crash site. We didn't finish the race after that, how could we? We just showered up at Carla's mother's house in SLC then headed over to U of U hospital.
I was sick about Dave all the way over to the hospital, not knowing if he was paralyzed or even alive. He had lost five pints of blood and I thought he may have some brain damage. We were relieved to find out his condition was stable and the doctors were optimistic about a full recovery after a few more extensive surgeries. There was alot of concern prior to hearing this news. Lots of tears and hugs and prayers in the waiting area that afternoon.
Meri and I went to see Steve Beck in another hospital and he fared alot better than Dave. Steve had a partially collapsed lung but didn't need a chest tube and was out in a few days. It was good to see Steve doing okay, he was in shock at the crash site and I just hope he can get over all this and enjoy cycling again.
Anyways, I went into what I can only assume is a grieving process the week or two following the crash. I ate WAY more than usual and had alot of trouble getting motivated to ride. The few times I was able to go on a bike ride were half-hearted attempts. I think I just felt that Dave was hurt and I felt guilty for being able to ride when he couldn't.
At some point I had the feeling that this guilt trip would probably upset Dave. I know if I were in his position, I would want everyone to embrace cycling a little more, and to continue to train for their respective events. So, this is what I've tried to do. I've never been one to train for an event, I just try to get out, work every now and then, and try to have fun so thats what i'm focusing on.
LOTOJA is coming up next week and at one point I had actually considered not doing it. Now though, I feel it would be the best way to honor Dave, to get out, have fun, and embrace a life that Dave almost lost to the sport.
Get well Dave...